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LiveJournal for Derek Ryne Jamison.

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Tuesday, July 24th, 2001

Subject:uhhhhhhhh so tirrrrrrred
Time:8:53 pm.
we went to the softball opening ceremony in purceville today, and some guys i know started hitting on little girls, it was sick. After paintball yesterday i'm really tired. man i wish my mom would stop yelling at me, she won't stop and it's pissing me off. i can't wait until they move, even though i'll basically be abandoned.
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Saturday, July 21st, 2001

Subject:LIFE REALLY IS SHIDDY
Time:10:36 pm.
ALONE ALONE ALONE, feel so alone, even when i went to the movies with josh i felt alone and very much in depression. I think that the fear of death is really getting to me, it's the not knowing what is after death that is getting to me, if there is a heaven and hell, then the chances are, i'm going to hell, i'm not a bad person, well maybe i am a bad person. The thing that get's me is, i have been such a bad person for so long that i know where i am going. I hope for all the people i know's sake that there is a heaven, because most if not all of them are going there(except garret). If i'm really lucky..... there is nothing after death, it just....Ends.
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Thursday, July 19th, 2001

Subject:good day
Time:11:43 pm.
Mood: chipper.
I played eighteen holes today, got a 46 on the back nine, and a 50 or a 51 on the front nine. Then i got home and replaced my car's break pads, and figured out what is rong with my windshield wiper fluid, the hose that goes up to the windshield is carroded and cracked, i also cleaned my trunk, found a bag of change in the back, and i took the front end of my car off, then on again to fix my fans in my engine. and now i am talking to an aquatance of mine(don't get offended jen, i have no friends).
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Monday, July 16th, 2001

Subject:Ducks!!!
Time:12:42 am.
Mood: stressed.
If these F#*$ing ducks keep staring at me i'm gonna shoot one of them.
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Sunday, July 15th, 2001

Subject:ok
Time:9:07 pm.
Felt really, really lonely today at work, tons of people were around but i felt like i was alone in a canyon, yet it also felt like i was sufficating on my own self sorrow. I don't want to lash out because i'm not that kind of person, and i don't want to talk about it to my friends because i feel like only a couple of them are real and sincere about friendship. When i came yesterday my mom was here, she had moved out a couple months ago, now she's back. I don't know why she's here, she abandoned me, and now that she's back she expects me to act like she's the best. the minute i saw her the b&$%^ing started, about all kinds of stuff i just told her i didn't care and went to my room. I wish my parent's would move and leave me here allready, i can't stand having a family that would rather support and live with their drug dealing, IHOP tagging, ufo wearing, child molester then their son who has never asked for a thing from them but love and attention. It's a reasonable request, and it is something that is obviously too hard for them to do. I thought that lately i had found a group of people that would substitute for my family, that lasted all of thirty seconds. I wish i lived by myself in the middle of the desert, and all i had to do all day was sit there and write stories, and that the only interaction i had with anything was my pet duck(Bedard(he's really a painting i have)). Oh well this is really friggin long. so i'll go
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LiveJournal for Derek Ryne Jamison.

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